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As financial reporter and author of Date-Onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game, Jon Birger puts it, “It’s not that He’s Just not That Into You. If you’re a single, college-educated woman in Manhattan, the cards of love are stacked in favor of you remaining single—but it has nothing to do with texting a guy too soon or (not) sleeping with someone on a third date.And while the land of Sex and the City is tough for single women seeking college-educated men, it’s hardly the worst.Fort Lauderdale has 71 percent more female college grads than male between ages 22-29, followed by Providence, which has 60 percent more. And it’s not a matter of being too fat or too loud, too timid or too aggressive, too slutty or too frigid.
Not for nothing are there 39 percent more women ages 22 to 29 with college degrees in Manhattan than men in the same bracket, with a gap of 100,000 between female and male college degree holders under the age of 35 in the entire city.They’re married because they took fate into their own hands—which is all the more needed when the numbers are so against you.In seven of the couples, the woman pursued the men.“It’s decisive women who, maybe, odds-wise are more likely to get the guy,” Birger tells me. They would rather not take their chance than put themselves out there and get rejected.”There were moments when Date-Onomics is initially disheartening—especially if you’re a 25-year-old woman who takes comfort fantasizing the perfect guy is out there and you just haven’t found him yet.“For a college-educated woman who puts an extremely high-priority on getting married to a college-educated man, she may be better off strategically—though not necessarily romantically—getting married young to Mr. But, as occurred so many times reading Date-Onomics, I ultimately felt liberated, fear replaced by the realization that driving yourself crazy to find some mystical “best”—and, in turn, to attract that mystical “best”—was a waste.His data provides concrete, liberating evidence that we should stop over-analyzing the nonsense minutiae of modern dating.“There are all these dating books that say how quickly you call or text is really going to determine whether you end up with Mr. If you just think about it intellectually, it's stupid,” he tells me (to my glee).“The idea that waiting an extra 12 hours makes the difference between being with Mr.Right forever and not, I mean it just doesn’t make sense, right?